A Plan.....A Path

In December of 2011, on the twelfth month of fertility treatments, I finally found myself unbelievably pregnant.  After what seemed like a life time of doctor appointments, ultrasounds, injections, and disappointment, we were overcome with relief and joy.  One of the first things I did was dispose of the myriad of fertility drug supplies - vials, needles, cotton swabs, alcohol swatches, portable coolers, ice packs..... I was more than happy to empty it from my life and move on from that tough chapter.  Little did I know, 13 months later the fertility doctor would ask if I still had all of that stuff.  How could I have possibly predicted that I would need it again, and so soon?  And here I am welcoming it back into our lives....

Last Wednesday I saw Dr. Rowan, our fertility doctor.  I was SO nervous...my heart was beating a billion beats per minute.  I couldn't wait to see him, but I dreaded the possibility of bad news.  We have had so much bad news in these past few months.  As soon as he came into the room my nerves seemed to ease... I thought, "I know this guy.  He's on my side.  He got me there once....this is his specialty, his science."  And as the butterflies in my stomach flew away, I welcomed in the news that my ovaries looked good and that I had the green light to start fertility treatments once again.  I left his office with a lightness in knowing that I could be pregnant again soon.  He advised me to come back on day 3 of my next cycle, which he anticipated would be in about 2 weeks.  Good.  Two weeks to absorb all of this.   

The thing with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) is that you never quite know when "aunt flo" is going to come around.  Surprisingly, she came by sooner than I expected, and on Saturday I found myself facing the fact that day 3 - starting day - was right in front of us.  Were we really ready to start down this path again?  ....I wasn't sure.  I expected to have a few more days to grasp the idea of doing fertility treatments again.  During yoga that morning I thought and thought about what we should do, and while I was supposed to be mediating (oops) I came up with a plan.  Fertility treatments are all consuming, all draining.  They toy with your emotions and are hard on your body.  You definitely want to be at your optimal self - as healthy as can be going into it.  While I feel like my body is mostly back to its pre-pregant self, it could stand a little tweaking.  So, I decided that instead of starting the treatments this week, I would give myself one more month to be my healthiest self.  For one month (and until I am pregnant) I am getting myself to the gym more often, eating less carbs and more lean proteins and much more fruits and veggies, and focusing on my well being through yoga, acupuncture, massage, and art.  After the yoga session I grabbed my mat and my new goal and headed to the grocery store where I literally filled my cart with veg and fruit and organic meats, and quinoa (I hear good things about quinoa).  I rushed home and began to organize my healthy menagerie of eats.  Now snack sized zip locks of prepared cauliflower, grapes, and avocado are overflowing my fridge.  I feel healthier just looking at it!

Studies show that losing just a handful of pounds can boost your fertility.  I'm hoping to shed a few, but honestly, I think just eating healthier and exercising more will help regardless of weight loss.   I feel energized by my plan, and I think I'll feel more comfortable re-entering the land of hormone injections knowing that I'm at a healthier state.  Heading down this path again is not easy...It's a daunting task, but it's our path and it's the one we have to embrace.  Here's to a healthy month!!