In December of 2011, on the twelfth month of fertility treatments, I
finally found myself unbelievably pregnant. After what seemed like a
life time of doctor appointments, ultrasounds, injections, and
disappointment, we were overcome with relief and joy. One of the first
things I did was dispose of the myriad of fertility drug supplies -
vials, needles, cotton swabs, alcohol swatches, portable coolers, ice
packs..... I was more than happy to empty it from my life and move on
from that tough chapter. Little did I know, 13 months later the
fertility doctor would ask if I still had all of that stuff. How could I
have possibly predicted that I would
need it again, and so soon? And here I am welcoming it back into our lives....
Last
Wednesday I saw Dr. Rowan, our fertility doctor. I was SO nervous...my
heart was beating a billion beats per minute. I couldn't wait to see
him, but I dreaded the possibility of bad news. We have had so much bad
news in these past few months. As soon as he came into the room my
nerves seemed to ease... I thought, "I know this guy. He's on my side.
He got me there once....this is his specialty, his science." And as
the butterflies in my stomach flew away, I welcomed in the news that my
ovaries looked good and that I had the green light to start fertility
treatments once again. I left his office with a lightness in knowing
that I could be pregnant again soon. He advised me to come back on day 3
of my next cycle, which he anticipated would be in about 2 weeks.
Good. Two weeks to absorb all of this.
The thing
with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) is that you never quite know when
"aunt flo" is going to come around. Surprisingly, she came by sooner
than I expected, and on Saturday I found myself facing the fact that day
3 - starting day - was right in front of us. Were we really ready to
start down this path again? ....I wasn't sure. I expected to have a
few more days to grasp the idea of doing fertility treatments again.
During yoga that morning I thought and thought about what we should do,
and while I was supposed to be mediating (oops) I came up with a plan.
Fertility treatments are all consuming, all draining. They toy with
your emotions and are hard on your body. You definitely want to be at
your optimal self - as healthy as can be going into it. While I feel
like my body is mostly back to its pre-pregant self, it could stand a
little tweaking. So, I decided that instead of starting the treatments
this week, I would give myself one more month to be my healthiest self.
For one month (and until I am pregnant) I am getting myself to the gym
more often, eating less carbs and more lean proteins and much more
fruits and veggies, and focusing on my well being through yoga,
acupuncture, massage, and art. After the yoga session I grabbed my mat
and my new goal and headed to the grocery store where I literally filled
my cart with veg and fruit and organic meats, and quinoa (I hear good
things about quinoa). I rushed home and began to organize my healthy
menagerie of eats. Now snack sized zip locks of prepared cauliflower,
grapes, and avocado are overflowing my fridge. I feel healthier just
looking at it!
Studies show that losing just a handful
of pounds can boost your fertility. I'm hoping to shed a few, but
honestly, I think just eating healthier and exercising more will help
regardless of weight loss. I feel energized by my plan, and I think
I'll feel more comfortable re-entering the land of hormone injections
knowing that I'm at a healthier state. Heading down this path again is
not easy...It's a daunting task, but it's our path and it's the one we
have to embrace. Here's to a healthy month!!
