This path has definitely had its ups and downs - its shiny new pavement, and car swallowing potholes. The past two weeks brought some light into our lives that I wasn't sure existed. Our story Jonah's Milk was posted on the Wold Milk Sharing Week Facebook page, together with a picture of all of the milk I pumped - proudly stacked on my kitchen counter. While I have always had positive feedback from sharing our story, it's mostly just been read by our family and friends - a small audience. Well, when Wold Milk Sharing Week shared our story it went absolutely VIRAL! (Wow- I can't believe I can use the word "viral" for something in my life!!) So far, our story has had over 3,800 "likes," 526 comments, and it has been shared 763 times - not to mention that it was picked up by several blogs, websites, oh and the Pittsburgh Post Gazette came to interview me. It has been shared all over the world - from West Virginia to Japan, to Tasmania, and back. There has been so much attention - I have been completely overwhelmed. Complete strangers are telling me that I am their hero, and that I should win a mom of the year award (someone even mentioned the Nobel Prize LOL!!).... My favorite comment was from a lady who said, "I don't even know you, but I am so proud of you." I am awestruck by the overwhelming feedback - I can't even totally comprehend or absorb how many people Jonah's short life has touched. For those of you who saw the picture and commented or e-mailed, thank you so, so much - I was touched by each and every comment. If you haven't seen this post, here is the link: World Milk Sharing Week's post of Jonah's Milk.
All of the positive energy associated with Jonah's Milk has really brightened our world and made each day just a little easier. To know that our son had such a huge impact on this world does bring me some comfort. And I think my friends and family can tell. A few days ago I had a discussion with a friend who had a life threatening experience with a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. She has been on her own journey to have a baby and said to me something along the lines of this, "It's so great that you have had something positive to focus on after Jonah's death. You've taken something so sad and focused on doing something to help other babies. There's no way for me to have something positive to focus on after my loss. I wish I had something good I could make out of this too, but there isn't anything positive." Her confession really got me thinking - I do feel so blessed to have had the focus of Jonah's Milk during this dark and trying time. Had I not pumped and donated breast milk, I too would have had only negativity and sadness to focus on. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity use the tragedy of my son's death to put positive energy into making the lives of other babies better. I feel so sad for women and their families who have had a loss who cannot find something positive to focus on. But if I search deep down, there is a way to make something positive out of her experience. I urged her to share her story and to be comfort to others who have been through a similar experience. There are so many women who have experienced some sort of loss - whether it's an ectopic pregnancy, a miscarriage, a stillbirth, an abortion, infant death, or the death of a child. These losses come in many forms, and up until recently there has been such silence associated with them. It is incredibly therapeutic and uplifting to share your story - to break the silence and help other women know that they are not alone. A wonderful place to do so is Faces of loss, Faces of hope, where you can share your story - whether it happened 40 years ago or yesterday. Our Jonah's Milk story is posted there. If you have had a loss - please share your story. Your story will let others know that they are not alone on this path. We can all draw peace from knowing that we are not alone.
And speaking of peace, on Saturday I started a new yoga class - Yoga for Fertility. Our six month waiting period is up and we've been "cleared" to start down the path of getting pregnant. Before we head down this road again, I want to be in my best form - healthy, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. The yoga instructor emphasized "peace of mind;" that with peace of mind, anything is possible. I am really working towards peace of mind - through various outlets, including my loving husband, my supportive family, my practical grief counselor, my amazing friends, through Jonah's Milk, and now through this new yoga class (with an amazing instructor - Nicole Gauthier Schatz). Each day my heart aches for the loss of our precious baby Jonah, but each day I try to get closer to "peace of mind." And I thank each and every one of you for your help along the way - Even those of you whom I've never met.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with the high risk OBGYN for "pre-conception counseling" - to make a plan for how to get a baby to this world safe and sound. Please send us "peace of mind" vibes as we head down this path - for who knows what this path will bring.
